Italians to Strike. French Figure They Might As Well, Too.

On September 13th, Italians will be going on a pasta strike to protest recent price increases. To combat the inevitable withdrawal symptoms (most Italians eat pasta at least once a day), strike organizers will set up emergency stands offering free bread and milk in all major Italian cities for those in need of carbohydrates. The 11% of Italian families living at the poverty line were overjoyed to hear the news, telling this reporter that they wished there was a strike every day.

One man said, “Pasta isn’t so great, if you really think about it. It needs butter or sauce to even taste like anything. Now where was that stand you mentioned?” While another commented, “Milk is better for the bones. I am completely Italian, in case you were wondering.” The prime minister has condemned the protest, mostly because it has called into question the appropriateness of his new vacation home in Turin, which has been dubbed the “Mani-cottage” by the English press, as it is an English-style hunting cottage constructed entirely out of manicotti. The opposition party has repeatedly pointed out that none of their members possess edible dwellings of any kind, but this has done little to tip the polls in their favor, and may only be making their constituents hungrier.
When asked for comment, the Italian army surrendered.