Buddhist Monks to Rise Up Against Us if We Don't Stop Laughing at Them

And let’s be honest, we kind of have it coming. The trouble started when an internet nutjob claimed that a Japanese ninja defeated several monks from China’s famed Shaolin Temple in unarmed combat. The user posted, “The facts [sic] that the monks could not defeat a Japanese ninja showed that they were named kung fu masters in vain.”

In response, the monks’ lawyer sent a notice to the Beijing News clarifying that “the defeat is purely fabricated” and that “we demand the Internet user to apologize to the whole nation for the wrongs he or she did.”

Now I readily admit to being an ignorant American, but you have to have a pretty high opinion of yourself to assume someone ragging on you = someone ragging on The Nation As A Whole. Did the nutjob have to say “Japanese” ninja? Was that an extra dig? Given my elementary understanding of the history between the two countries and having absolutely no knowledge of either language, I would say yes, he was twisting the needle. But it was still really funny. Are there no funny monks? And how’d they find out about this guy, anyway? Does one of them have a Google alert sent to his inbox any time the words “Shaolin Showdown” appear on the internet?

Oh. Not in China, he doesn’t.

Back to the story:

Though China and Japan are certainly Not BFF, they’re old neighbors and seasoned forces on the world stage, so surely both nations immediately recognized the ridiculousness of the situation and chose to ignore it. I mean, why get upset over an item so silly I kind of wish I’d made it up? And they all lived happily ever after…